Setahun Yang Lalu...

f***Entry ini diambil dari blog Friendster di bawah tajuk MANUSIA HANYA MAMPU MERANCANG dan telah diedit sesuka hati....***

Sewaktu entri ini ditulis, putera sulung aku, Ameerul Faheem Al Fazree sedang nyenyak tidur di dalam Moses Basketnya di ruang tamu... Aku pula sedang berada di dalam bilik... No, I'm not such a bad mummy, just thanks to technology, my hubby bought us a baby monitor (just arrived today) so that I can monitor my baby even though not being in front of him....

Agenda aku untuk December 2008 (I'm officially start my 6 months maternity leave on 1-Dec-2008)

Friday 28-Nov:

Last day at work. Mixed feeling. I think I'm gonna missed my office... Went home at 8.30pm after finishing all my designated tasks.

29-Nov:

Do house chores!!!! Gosh!!! Rumah aku sgt macam tongkang pecah since aku bagi alasan kat hubby, it's ok, I'll be finishing job soon. I'll do it then.... Lagipun, Health Service Representative nak dtg umah on 5-Dec. Petang lak plan nak gi tgk Madagascar 2. Tiket pun dah beli... Premier Seat lagi... (We still keep the ticket with us. I plan to keep the ticket forever...)

30-Nov:

Last minute baby shopping. Banyak lagi important items yang tak beli lagi... So, kena go through all the important lists and buy it all... Lagipun, sekarang kan tgh X-mas sales...

3-Dec:

Gi office dlm lunch utk amik X-mas hamper and do SFE Control that late afternoon with Juan... Plan nak habiskan a few topics... (I never managed to get my promotion with Schlumberger until my last day of working on 3-Jul-2009. Part of me feel disappointed about it. But maybe, it just never meant to be, I guess... It will forever be in the past and what I need now is to move on, get over it and look into the future...)

5-Dec:

Plan nak prepare stuffs for going to Manchester. Sandwiches, emergency bags etc...

6-Dec:

Start our journey to Manchester. It'll be a very relaxing journey since we plan to do lotsa pit stop, considering my condition yang sarat ini...

7-Dec:

Sayang kena belajar utk exam next day, so, I plan to go for some shopping. (Sayang didn't take the exam on this day. He had to provide the 'surat tunjuk sebab' to postpone the exam. He took the exam during my maternity leave while we were at our home country. He flew to Manchester for 5 days purposely to take the exam. The travel was covered by Schlumberger that time, so, why not???)

8-Dec:

Sayang supposed to take exam today. So, lepak jer kat rumah Wee... Pas Sayang habis exam, leh gi makan kat Jati or Subway Halal kat sini.... Meatball Marinara.... YUMMY!!!! (If I'm not mistaken, Jati is no longer exist in Manchester. So, aku memang tak pernah laaa merasa makan kat Jati. FYI, Mawi pernah buat shooting kat sini. I was addicted to Subway when I was in UK. Might be because it was not easy to reach from Aberdeen for the HALAL Subway. It took 3 hours journey by car to get to Glasgow, the nearest HALAL Subway. So, I really treasure the moment with my meatball marinara. Here, since it's to easy, there's no challenge anymore...)

9-Dec:

Start our journey to Glasgow. Plan to sleep at Travelodge kat Glasgow Airport.

10-Dec:

Pick-up my parents at Glasgow Airport. Pastu balik Aberdeen....

The rest of the month until my labour, just lepak kat rumah, study and relax....

WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED....

Friday 28-Nov:

Bila dah sampai rumah, lepak and dinner, seperti biasa aku suka tengok TV kat depan ngan Sayang. Kitorang tengok citer JAWS (tak ingat yg mana satu...) malam tuh... Aku siap sound Sayang lagi yang aku nie sarat, apa laaa suruh aku tengok citer yg ganas2 nih... (since aku x pernah tgk citer JAWS...) it turned out that the movie was awesome!!! Pastu, takder citer best kat TV, tapi aku still melangut depan TV and Sayang lepak kat dalam bilik layan anime (aku x suka tengok kat laptop sebab kerusi dia x comfy cam sofa kat depan...) Then, macam biasa, aku tertidur depan TV. Sayang kejutkan aku bangun dalam pukul 2pagi and we went straight to bed.

Around 4am, suddenly I felt so wet!!!! Seluar and baju aku habis semua basah!!! Aku kejutkan Sayang and it turned out our bed sheets dah membentuk peta dunia!!!! My water broke!!! I was kinda panic because, 1st, I absolutely didn't expect it, 2nd, I didn't feel any contractions coming!!! Sayang dengan relaxnya suruh tukar baju and sambung tidur!!! (FYI, the water can be broke at any time, between the 1st stage contraction to THE SHOW(labour)!!! So, kalau bukan 2nd stage contraction, jangan nak gatal gi hospital since kalu pergi pun dia suruh balik and do all the method to handle contractions that been taught during the free antenatal class.. (Did I already mention that it's FREE???)

Tapi aku rasa x sedap hati sbb aku baru 36 minggu!!! Another month to go. Lagipun, most of the experience people told me that usually, for the first baby it's going to be late a few days... So, aku mintak Sayang ambik Emergency Contact No. so that I can call the hospital. (Oh, my Sayang memang sangat teratur... Dia selalu prepare for stuffs, soooo contradict from me!!!)

I gave a call to Midwife Unit (untuk bersalin secara normal tanpa menggunakan epidural atau planned C-Section; if you choose to use epidural, or need to do C-Section or any other medical reason, your case will be referred to Labour Ward instead.) They told me that I can come in the morning (around 8-9am). Then I told the that I'm only 36 weeks; that was when they told me to call **** Ward (GOSH!!! I totally forgot the ward name!!!) I gave the ward a call and they asked me to relax and come over in half an hour.

Since we didn't prepare for the situation, kitorang pun start packing barang2. Aku taktau nak bawak apa, cuma ward dah bagitau prepare macam nak pergi labour. Luckily, kitorang memang ada list barang yang kena bawak. So, dengan agak kekurangan resources, bawak jer apa2 yang rasa penting. Nasib baik jugak kitorang ada beli Ready Bag Mothercare. At least some of the stuffs dah memang ada.... Dalam pukul 5am, kitorang sampai hospital.

Bila dah setel2 semua, midwife checked condition aku, and found out yg aku dah ada contraction even aku tak rasa apa2. Midwife suh aku lepak kat ward dulu since Dr. akan bgtau aku boleh balikke tak dalam 8-9 pagi..... They took the amniotic fluid and it IS confirmed that my water is broke!!! I had to change the maternity pad regularly to check the colour of the amniotic fluid. If it's pink, I'm fine. But if it's greyish or greenesh then, I'm in trouble since there's a possibility for the baby to drown.

As time passed by, finally around lunch, they told me that I had to stay in the hospital since I was only 36 weeks + 5 days, not 37 weeks full term yet. DAMN!!! As being me who never being admitted in the hospital and already had the instinct, this can't be good, I was really not happy!!!! But my Sayang told me, what doctor said was the best for both of us, I agreed. The weird thing was I never actually met the Dr. All the process was examined by the midwife and nobody EVER checked my dilation. So, since it was confirmed that I had to stay, we decided that my Sayang should go home to do the house chores as our house was really like 'tongkang pecah!!!'. He as well needed to get some other important stuffs for me that we overlooked since WE WERE TOTALLY UNPREPARED!!!!

Just before midnight, I started to feel the contraction getting stronger. At one point, I couldn't bare it anymore so the midwife gave me paracetamol for pain killers (as preggie mummy over here, we are not allowed to consume any other pain killers such as aspirin etc. So, panadol actifast is a big NO NO!!! Macamlaa ada kat sini pun!!!). The also offered me the TENS Machine, the 'so called' machine that supposed to help you to cope with contraction. At first, it was really helpful since it's distracted my mind from the contraction. After time, since my brain wasn't stupid enough to be fool by the machine, the contraction kept bugging my sleepless night!!! It was the most horrible period pain I ever experienced. Every half an hour the contraction will come resulting wide open on my eyes just like we saw in the horror movies...

Later on, my Sayang texted me asking for my condition. I told him about the strong contraction and asked him to get enough sleep since it is almost certain that he will be needed the next day. Unexpected, he arrived soon enough and told me that he couldn't leave me alone here!!! HOW SWEET!!! Around 2am when I really felt like dying, finally, the midwife checked my dilation for the 1st time and it was only 4cm!!! She told me that I need to wait until the dilation to be 10cm in order to deliver the baby. Helplessly, I just asked my Sayang to play Yaasin on his mobile and he helped me to cope with all the pain through out the night... Around 5-6am, again, I called the midwife and this was the time she told me the bad news, she was alone at that unit, they were running out of staffs and the labour ward was full!!!! So, I just need to wait. She offered me morphine, but being me who against the usage of epidural and drugs, I refused...

Around 7am, the good news finally came... there was an empty spot at the labour ward, so they asked us to packed our stuffs. Ironically, when they were about to push me on the wheelchair (yup!!! I couldn't even walking!!!) towards the labour ward, I saw the breakfast was about to come. I was like, it's ok, I'll get something at the labour ward without knowing that it was only a false dream....

Sunday, 30-Nov-2008, 8.00am:

We reached at the labour ward and the midwife checked my dilation. OMG!!! With all the pain, it was only open for 5cm!!!! So she decided to give me the drips to encourage the contraction and manually break the water that covered the baby's head. GOSH!!! I felt so embarrassed and the pain was just undescribable!!! I was crying out loud and couldn't stop since!!! I kept on crying and they offered me some the ethonox gas to again, 'so called' help to cope with contraction which I think b******!!!! It just made me dizzy and by the time the contractions kept coming every 5minutes, I started to act like maniac!!!! At this time, the midwife was busying explaining 'important' (yup!!! really important) stuffs, but since I was half way knocked down, I can't really bother!!! Antaranya yg aku dengar, in certain condition, we might have to cut you, we don't usually do that, and i know it's not nice yada yada yada.... and I was like, Yeah, don't really fancy that, but I understand..... and some other stuffs like, we're going to give your baby Vitamin K because your baby yada yada yada.... and my baby is not even here yet!!!! (Note to self: in the future, don't forget to tell the doctor or midwife that I have G6PD trait in the family and Vitamin K ca kill the baby straight away. Luckily Faheem doesn't have it. We knew it when Faheem down to jaundice and at that moment, we just realised that it was not common in UK to check for G6PD. It's good practice as well to tell the doctor or midwife your family health history the minute you know you're pregnant, regardless where you are...)

Lepas tue, tetiba aku rasa macam sembelit yang amat sangat.... Midwife suruh aku push, tapi being sleepy and hungry, aku memang sangat tak ada tenaga untuk push.... My Sayang kept remind me to ingat Allah, and surah Yaasin dari handset kept on playing under my pillow..... Aku mmemang kept on mengerang sakit..... aku tak tau nak describe sakit yang macam mana.... aku memang dah nangis2 sebab sangat sakit.... (aku memang seorang manusia yang sangat x tahan sakit!!! kalu demam sikit pun, aku akan ngada2 cam sakit sesangat..... and that's why aku sangat jarang sakit!!!) Aku cakap aku tak larat nak push and aku tanak push lagi, tp hubby bgtau, sikit ajer lagi, kepala baby mmg dah kuar, tp sbb aku x habis push, so kepala baby masuk balik!!! Ada la dlm 10-15 kali aku push, bila last sekali aku grunt sekuat hati cam nak kumpul energy and tetiba aku rasa cam lega teiba... Laju jer.... aku mmg dah nangis2 waktu tuh, too bad, bukan nangis happy, tapi nangis sebab sakit.... 10.50am, aku dgr suara baby nangis.... midwife nak letak baby atas perut aku, aku cam fobia sakit, so aku siap ckp kt midwife, can you please pass the baby to the daddy? Bengong sungguh!!!! Pastu apatah midwife tuh cakap kat aku and dia terus letak baby kat atas perut aku.... Surprisingly, baby terus senyap!!!! Aku yg stil l mamai baru teringat nak tanya kat hubby... 'Sayang, anak kita laki ke pompuan?' (In Aberdeen, they won't tell you the gender of the baby during the scan since they had been sued for telling the parents the wrong gender!!! Orang kt sini obses sikit, tau jer anak pompuan, terus cat bilik kaler pink and serba serbi pink...) Sayang bagitau anak lelaki... Mummy's instinct is always correct!!!

Bila tengok muka baby yg tenang, aku lupa jap sakit yg aku baru alami. Aku ingat penderitaan dah abih, rupanya ada lagi..... Bab nak kuarkan uri and jahit stitches and nak bersihkan segala.... Ya Allah!!!! trauma aku rasa.... and again, aku nangis lagi.... Bila dah habis all the horible 'post-natal' process, baru laaa aku rasa tenang and aku leh menikmati moment ngan anak aku..... Waktu tue, terngiang2 apa yg aku just went through but bila tengok baby, aku rasa tak regret langsung!!!! Yg aku rasa, hanyalah perasaan yg amat tenang and rasa tak caya langsung aku dah jadik mummy.... Lepas tue memula, kitorang x berani nak angkat baby, so, Sayang terpaksa azan and iqamat kan baby kat atas perut aku jer.... hihiih!!!!

Aku rasa, ada hikmahnya aku bersalin awal dari expected. Sebabnya, sampai saat aku nak bersalin, aku sebenarnya langsung tak bersedia sebab aku sangat fobia!!! Aku sangat penakut untuk go through the process!!! Aku x leh baca any info pasal labour sbb aku takut!!! So, kalu aku ditakdirkan beranak on EDD, alamatnya mesti aku ketakutan, at least bila things happen early than expected, aku cam x sempat rasa takut....

Apa2 hal, alhamdulillah, everything went OK. Aku selamat, baby selamat, apa lagi nak risau...? Parents aku bila dgr air ketuban aku pecah, terus tukar tiket flight, datang awal....... Banyak benda dah lari dari plan asal bila baby lahir awal, tapi aku yakin, semua ada hikmah..... Sangat kesian kat Sayang, since memula, memang dia terpaksa setel semua sendiri, masak untuk aku (kat hospital, aku just leh makan veggie option, so, x best sangat..), terkejar-kejar untuk beli barang-barang baby since kitorang x sempat nak beli (n x tau pun apa yang penting utk dibeli... bila baby dah lahir baru sedar, benda yang kitorang beli awal2, banyaknya, benda yg x penting!!!!) nak uruskan uri n nak kemas umah.... So, dia memang x leh nak lawat aku kat hospital waktu siang.... So, bila waktu melawat, orang lain sumer meriah ngan org, aku sesorang, tapi x kisah pun, sbb aku faham dia pun penat....

That's all that I can think about regarding my experience.... Until now, aku still terbayang2 rasa sakit bersalin, tapi, I don't mind to trough it again since being a mummy makes me complete as a woman....